


Something New

by palateens



Series: Grand Larsony [13]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Multi, Polyamory, Vomiting, Wedding Fluff, aren't these tags concerning when put together like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 15:59:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14108946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palateens/pseuds/palateens
Summary: “You said you wanted to be surprised and swept off your feet,” she says quietly. “I couldn’t think of anything better.”





	Something New

March 2023 

 

Lardo spends the morning after her 30th birthday in a state of minor panic. The entire house is in an uproar. She’s been planning this party for months, and of course everything’s falling apart now. 

“The flowers are supposed to be here by now,” she glares at her phone before pinching her nose. 

“The caterer just got here,” Perry tells her. 

“Swawesome, something’s finally going right.” She looks down at her watch. “And only five minutes late.” 

“Lards, the decorators are here,” Goose shouts from upstairs. 

“Can you go talk to them? Tell them the archway design they sent last night was perfect,” 

“Sure,” he shouts. 

Lardo looks at her list again, frowning. “Where’s Kent?” 

“Haven’t seen him,” Ozzy says. 

“He’s probably next door,” Johnny adds. 

Lardo groans before running toward the backyard. She almost crashes into the fence gate while trying to open it—almost. It’s the most important day of the year; she needs everyone to be on top of their shit. As soon as she walks into the other house, she’s met by the sound of retching. 

“Please not today,” she murmurs to herself. 

Kent’s in the downstairs restroom, puking his guts out. Lardo goes back to the kitchen for a wet washcloth. She puts it into the microwave for five seconds to warm it up. When she comes back into the restroom, he’s still puking, somehow. 

“Kenny, what the actual fuck,” she says, trying to keep the worry out of her voice. 

He puts his forehead on the toilet seat, panting. “You think I like this? I think I hacked up a lung.” 

She kneels next to him, putting the wash cloth on the back of his neck. 

“You gonna be alright?” she asks quietly. 

“I don’t know,” he admits.  

She rubs circles into his back, kissing his temple. Kent runs himself ragged sometimes, it’s easy for him to push too hard. She’s more worried about him being able to stand more than how much help he can be. She takes a deep breath, swallowing the bile rising in her own throat.

“Go take a nap,” she says. 

He opens his mouth to protest, but then turns his head to puke more. 

“I’ll make someone come over to check on you, alright?” 

“Per can’t stand puke,” Kent says. “Ozzy’s gonna be fucking impatient, same with Parker.”

“You want Goose or Johnny, got it.” She kisses the back of his head before heading back to her place. 

The decorators are rearranging the backyard already, setting up tables all around the deck. Inside, the caterer is setting up while the florist is finally bustling in with centerpieces for the tables. She sighs in relief, looking down at the checklist on her phone. 

“Where’s Jeff with the band?” she shouts at no one in particular. 

“He’ll be here in twenty, they had to stop for gas,” Goose says.  

“Great. Can you go check on Kent? He’s sick.” 

“On it,” Goose says without a second thought. 

“Ok, just gotta get dressed,” Lardo says, taking a deep breath. 

She hates being anxious, it makes her feel sick and disgusting. Maybe it’s just watching Kent puke that has her on edge. 

“Larissa, I’ve got a curling iron on and ready to make your hair gorgeous, now let’s go,” Bitty says as he rushes into the kitchen. 

“Alright, I’m coming.” 

He stops her, looking her up and down. “You haven’t eaten yet.” 

“I’ll do that later—”

“No, nuh uh, that’s what you always say,” he tuts. “I’m grabbing you something to nibble on and some coffee.”

“Don’t bother with the coffee—”

“I already made mine this morning,” he says. “You hate cold coffee.” 

Her shoulders sag. “I don’t feel like having coffee right now.” 

Bitty whips his head around so fast it looks painful. He turns on the toaster before ushering her into a seat and feeling her forehead with the back of his hand. 

“Are you feeling alright?” 

“I’m fine, Bits,” she says with a yawn. “Coffee just sounds gross right now.” 

He nods slowly. “I’ll get some tea brewing.” 

She doesn’t argue, mainly because it’s useless at this point. Bitty doesn’t worry as easily anymore, but he still has his limits. She knows it’s easier to just let him troubleshoot her life than it is to insist that she’s really (actually) ok. 

He makes breakfast and shoves headphones into her hands. She takes the hint, stimming on music instead of worrying about everyone else. It works a little bit. She still feels sick, which she probably got from Kent, but it’s alright. They’ll make it through the day somehow. 

_/.\\_ 

Around noon, Perry comes running into the master bedroom. 

“We’re taking Kent to the doctor,” they tell them. 

“What? Why?” Bitty says as he curls Lardo’s hair. 

“He’s dehydrated and nauseous, he only just stopped puking.” 

Lardo feels Bitty’s shoulder grip hers tightly. She logically knows it’s easiest to let them go. 

“Ok go,” she says. “Tell him we love him.”      

Perry kisses the top of her head, leaning over to whisper, “We’ll be back soon.” 

“Let me know what it is,” she says. 

They nod before leaving. Bitty frets a little more over Lardo’s hair. He starts picking apart little pieces and curling them tightly. The heat is getting to her, and she feels like fainting. 

“Bits, stop,” she says, just loud enough for him to hear. 

He sighs, turning the curling iron off. “I’m done anyhow, mind if I put some hairspray on you?”

“If you make it quick, sure,” she says. 

He tries, but he’s a perfectionist. The next thing Lardo knows, she’s running to the toilet to puke up breakfast. 

“So close,” she mutters. 

“How long have you been feeling bad?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“That’s a fat lie,” he says. “Now tell me.” 

“A few days? It’ll be fine,” she says. 

“This the first time you’ve puked?”

“Yea, I’ve been holding it off pretty well,” she says as she gets up slowly. “I’m already feeling better, see?” 

Bitty shakes his head. “You think you can put on your own makeup or—”

“You are the worst at makeup,” Lardo reminds him

“You could wait ‘til Kenny gets back.” 

“Or I could fuck around with it myself, and if it doesn’t work he’ll fix it,” she says. 

Bitty rolls his eyes. “If I hadn’t just fixed your hair, I would say go sleep.” 

She frowns. She would give anything to take a fucking break, but she doesn’t have everything ready yet. 

“I’ll close my eyes in the chair for a little if you go ask Holster what their ETA is,” she concedes. 

“Deal,” he says before making her sit back in the chair. “I’ll come check on you in a little.” 

Lardo smiles, mildly relieved. “Thanks.” 

“No problem, honey,” he says. “That’s what metamours are for.”   

Her eyes flutter closed. It’ll be only a minute, she thinks. Before she knows it Kent will be back, everyone will be home, and they can get this started. It’s going to be fine, she tells herself. Everything will be fine. 

_/.\\_

Lardo is woken up to someone shaking her gently. 

“Lards, c’mon,” Kent’s voice floats into her subconscious. “You gotta wake up.” 

She stirs, reluctantly opening her eyes. He’s kneeling in front of her, looking better but still exhausted. 

“Fuck, how long was I out?” she says out loud. 

Kent squints. “Two hours?” 

She’s fully awake now. “Who the fuck let me sleep that long?”

“Uh, everyone?” Kent says. “You’ve been running yourself ragged all week.” 

She sags, throwing her head back. Closing her eyes, she tries to make herself stay calm.

“I just want this to be perfect,” she says. 

“That’s fine, I get it,” he says. “But c’mon, you needed a fucking break.” 

She nods. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulls him in for a tight hug. 

“Sorry you had to go to the fucking doctor,” she says. 

“Me too.”

She frowns, pulling back. “What’s wrong?” 

Kent shakes his head. “Nothing. We’ll, uh, we can talk about it later.” 

“Kenny—”

“It’s your big day, all eyes should be on you ok? I’m fine.” 

She doesn’t buy it for a second, but they’re at least a half an hour behind schedule. 

“You up to making this face look cute?” she asks. 

He snorts. “As if you aren’t already beyond gorgeous?” 

Lardo feels her stomach churning again. Kent must see it on her face, because he helps her to the toilet before she pukes. 

“Did they at least give you meds?” she says before she throws up again. 

“They put me on an IV drip.” He sighs. “Honestly, that’s the only reason I’m not puking too right now.” 

She groans, whimpering in relief when he starts rubbing circles into her back. 

“You sure you don’t wanna talk about it?” Lardo asks somewhat desperately. 

“We can talk about it later,” he promises. 

Before she can protest, Kent’s phone buzzes. 

“Uh we better put the pedal to the fucking metal. They’re almost home,” Kent says. 

“How close?” 

“Fifteen minutes.” 

She gapes. “There’s no way—”

“Don’t,” he says. “I can knock this out in ten minutes tops.” 

She doesn’t believe him, but what other choice does she have? 

_/.\\_ 

Bitty knocks on the door eight minutes later. 

“Let’s get this—” he stops in his tracks, gasping. 

“What?” Lardo asks worriedly as Kent mists setting spray over her face.

Bitty shakes his head. “You look perfect.” 

She smiles softly. Bitty gestures for Kent to show her. Kent hands her a mirror. Her lips are parted in awe. It looks like her, but like she’s effortless. Like her life is easy, like she’s just here to be herself. 

“You’re not allowed to cry yet,” Kent says. 

She sniffs hard, pushing back tears she didn’t know were there. “Ok, let’s get this fucking dress on me.” 

Kent pulls out the dress from the closet while she puts on her ankle bracelets. They picked the dress out at an outlet in New York over a month ago. It was a bitch to hide, but it’s worth it. They help her slip into it perfectly. It’s form fitting with cap sleeves and embroidery. 

Bitty frowns. “Maybe breakfast wasn’t the best idea.” 

He’s staring at a tiny curve in her stomach. She’s about to say something, at least slightly rude, when Kent intervenes. 

“It’s fine, you don’t look bad. You look fucking human, and that dress looks amazing on you.” 

She doesn’t have time to worry, so she nods. The timer on Kent’s phone goes off. He turns it off with a smirk. 

“See? Ten minutes tops,” he says triumphantly. 

She hums, kissing him softly. “Thanks.” 

Lardo kisses Bitty on the cheek. “Ok, Kent put your jacket on. I’ll uh, see you in a bit.” 

She hears them shouting excitedly as she runs down the stairs. Her phone still in hand, she checks the time. Two minutes left. 

She smoothes out her dress as she walks across the first floor. She takes deep breaths in and out, reminding herself that it’s ok. Everything’s ok. 

Lardo takes a moment with her hand on the front door knob. She closes her eyes, mentally psyching herself up. She hears voices outside. 

“Babe, don’t worry—” Holster says. 

“You’re kinda freaking me out,” Ransom says. “Like what is the big surprise?” 

Lardo chooses that moment to open the door. Ransom and Holster stop talking, staring at her instead. Holster’s seen her in this before, so his expression is something of bemused adoration. But Ransom blushes deeply. His lips part, as if he’s about to say something. 

She blushes too. She finally feels comfortable enough to laugh. For the first time today, she’s  truly at peace, happy. 

“You said you wanted to be surprised and swept off your feet,” she says quietly. “I couldn’t think of anything better.” 

Ransom nods slowly. She swallows, stepping forward tentatively. She takes his hands in hers.

“Justin, you’re the love of my life, and I don’t want to spend another day without you,” she says. “Will you marry me? Like, right now.” 

Ransom laughs. “I feel a little upstaged. I thought you liked my proposal.” 

She opens her mouth to protest, but he cuts her off with a kiss. She doesn’t even care that she’ll have to re-apply her lipstick. He smiles into the kiss. 

“Yes,” he murmurs into her lips. “I want that so badly.” 

She smirks. “Good, go get dressed.” 

Lardo holds the door open wide for them. Holster kisses her just as deeply on the way in. 

“You’re the most beautiful bride ever,” he whispers. 

She swats him gently on the arm. “It’s my wedding day, and you’re married.” 

“Married to your datemate,” he chirps. 

“Semantics, go get ready,” she shoos him up the stairs. 

Lardo goes to the back yard to make sure it’s ready. Everything seems in place. Fortunately, everyone is where they belong. Unfortunately, Perry and Bitty are talking right by the door. 

“Well, what was it? Lardo’s coming down with something awful,” Bitty says. 

“There’s no way she has what Kenny does,” they say. 

“How can you be so sure?” 

“He’s pregnant, Bitty,” Perry says. 

Bitty’s strangled gasp is exactly how Lardo feels. The blood drains from her face. 

“I guess not,” Bitty agrees finally. “Pregnant, really?” 

“We’ve been trying for a while,” they argue. 

“I know but…” his voice drops off. “It’s different, thinking about a baby and having one.” 

Lardo isn’t one for anxiety attacks. Except for when she’s handed a bombshell on her wedding day that is completely lifechanging and unavoidable. It’s fine, she tells herself. It’s manageable. They’ll be fine. 

“Lards, ready to go?” Kent says behind her. 

She doesn’t mean to, but her eyes linger on his stomach. She nods. 

“Let’s do this,” she says. 

_/.\\_ 

It’s a small ceremony, because that’s more their style. It’s their parents, their siblings, a few of their friends, and their polycule. They don’t need or want anything larger than that. As it is, everyone’s seated for both the wedding and reception. The fire pit faces west, which will look perfect for a ceremony at sunset. 

Larissa’s parents walks her down the aisle. Her dad talks to her the entire way, saying how happy he is for her, crazy family and all. She chuckles, kissing his hand reverently. Kent and Holster are already at their places on the altar. It would be a crapshoot to try to incorporate everyone into the wedding party, so they settled for best men only, plus Shitty, who’s volunteered to officiate. 

Kent and Holster are whispering back and forth while Shitty pretends she isn’t eavesdropping on them. 

“I can’t believe you kept this under wraps for so long,” Holster says. 

“I, like, just found out,” Kent insists. 

“Yea? And what about those pregnancy tests I found in the garbage last... week.” Holster looks away from Kent, back to Lardo. 

The world slows to a grinding halt. Holster looks like he’s getting up from a bad check. Like he’s still trying to orient himself. If Shitty’s gobsmacked expression is anything to go by, the feeling’s mutual. Lardo bites her lip, nodding slowly.

Holster swallows. He blinks back tears; the sight of which makes her eyes blurry.  She wasn’t going to say anything today. Shitty kisses her cheek, because she has some self-restraint (though not a whole lot). Then again, Shitty would probably be screaming excitedly if she could right now. 

She feels Kent lace his fingers into hers. 

“We can’t do anything in halves, huh?” Kent murmurs. 

“Guess not,” Lardo says. 

“Do you want…y’know,” he starts to ask. 

She clears her throat. “Yea.” 

The music crescendos. The groom arrives, escorted by his parents like the immaculate king he is. From the back, Ransom’s in the sharpest lilac suit Lardo’s ever seen. It’s his favorite color. Somewhere in-between masculine and feminine. Vibrant and striking, yet soft and delicate—just like Justin. 

His smile is as timid and bright as the first day she met him. The ceremony is a blur. She spends every second memorizing his face, every curve of his body, and the way his soft hands feel in her calloused ones. 

If they were in a movie, she thinks this would end with them driving into the sunset. But it doesn’t. This ends with their vows and the most breathtaking kiss. It ends with a party before returning to normal. Because their normal is far better than any fantasy. 

Lardo and Kent look at each other frantically during dinner, waiting for just the right moment. 

They’ll find it soon, she thinks as she shakes her head for a moment. They should really give Justin a few more minutes to adjust to marriage before he has to start thinking about fatherhood.    

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> this fic will make a lot more sense once Ransom Week starts. Also, fair warning, Ransom week fics will be going in between these Lardo Week stories SO next week the order of this series will probably look different. And it will definitely be worth it to reread. Thanks for your patience and for everyone who supports this series! I'll try to get replying to comments soon but know I appreciate you all so so so much. 
> 
> Check out what else is going on for Lardo Week in our [AO3 Collection](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/lardo_week_2018) and [on Tumblr!](https://lardo-week.tumblr.com/)


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